I'm a lifestyle Domina for more than a decade and I’ve started to offer professional domination sessions a little over an year ago. I thought I’ll collect more interesting experiences this way and I was right. Partially. Because for Me, professional domination proved to be an entirely new world for which I have very mixed feelings. I wanted to write about it for a long time, but an email exchange this morning gave Me the final necessary impulse to do it.
The sweet part:
As a professional dominatrix I had the opportunity to meet significantly more fantastic dominant women from all over the world than I’ve met before. I never imagined how many wonderful, intelligent and complex women (and some men too ;) ) are on the professional scene. That’s the part I’m the most grateful for and without it I would have most probably abandoned the professional scene already because…
The bitter one:
… I never imagined how many selfish, deranged and even purely misogynistic men are interested in professional female domination. Apparently I have been privileged for more than a decade in My Femdom lifestyle, because I was carefully choosing My play partners and obviously most of them proved to be worthy of My time and attention. For the first few months, the professional scene and the lifestyle one seemed very alike and I was happy to meet new high quality, genuinely submissive men. The occasional online timewasters couldn’t burst my bubble, My Femdom life was fabulous. Then, bit by bit, I started to get in touch with the weirdos, the unhinged and worse: the arrogant and entitled “customers”. There’s nothing more incompatible with the Femdom essence than this last category. It makes Me sick to my stomach to open an email from one of them and I’m happy I managed to avoid meeting one in person so far. The entitled customer is there to demand, negotiate, and even belittle you almost like a true narcissist. The whole paradigm is distorted, you’re not a woman to be served and worshipped, you’re a walking and talking object he wants to rent for fulfilling his needs.
I’m not saying at all that the needs and desires of submissive men are unimportant. I understand a Femdom rapport, be it a relationship or a short scene/session, as a way of mutually fulfilling our desires. The key word is mutual: you find pleasure in serving Me and submitting to Me, I must find pleasure in being served by you and dominating you. A professional dominatrix is not a marionette you can rent for an hour or so. You can’t buy Me or My time. That’s why it’s called tribute, not fee. It’s not a fancy way of saying payment, cost, price or rate. It represents the very quintessence of the Femdom power dynamic: she is above you in the rapport, you are beneath her. You can’t rent or buy Dominant women, dear "customer", they’re not for sale.